Insignificant and Pathetic
by tinylexie
Summary: A character study of Peter Pettigrew from his years at Hogwarts until the end of the First Wizarding War. For Round 6 of alyssialui's Twister challenge. In this round, we had to choose from a list of characters to write about. I chose to write about Peter. Companion piece to "A Spy in the Order."


**Author's Note****: This is for Round 6 of alyssialui's Twister Challenge. In this round, we had to choose from a list of characters to write about. I chose to write about Peter Pettigrew.**

**Additional Author's Note****: I did some editing in regards to Voldemort's and Peter's first meeting.**

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><p>Peter Pettigrew had always been the type of boy who was easy to overlook. He wasn't even average. If he had ever stood out for any reason, it would have been because he was so under-average.<p>

At least that was the impression he had always had of himself.

It was safe to say, therefore, that Peter was more nervous than was normal when he first arrived at Hogwarts. Which House would he actually be good enough to be Sorted into? Would he even be good enough to be Sorted at all?

"Well, this is very difficult," the Sorting Hat commented when it was placed on Peter's head. "You just don't seem to fit anywhere."

"Please," Peter begged silently in his head, "there has to be somewhere I can belong. Please, just let me belong somewhere, anywhere. Please."

"Usually I would suggest Hufflepuff in a case such as yours," the Sorting Hat remarked, "but you most definitely don't belong there."

"Great," Peter thought sarcastically, "I don't even belong in the House meant for losers_."_ At least that was what Peter had heard on the train from an older blond-haired boy who had looked so regal in Peter's eyes. If that boy had said Hufflepuff was meant for losers, then it had to be true.

"I did not mean to offend," the Sorting Hat said. "And there is nothing wrong with being a Hufflepuff. Many great wizards and witches have come from Hufflepuff. You are just very unusual, Peter Pettigrew."

"Do you mean that in a bad way?"

The Sorting Hat chuckled in amusement. Then, it turned serious. "There is a darkness inside you, Peter Pettigrew."

"No, not Slytherin," Peter breathed. He had heard on the train from a boy his age with untidy black hair that Slytherin was the evil House. And there was no way that Peter could be evil. He wasn't good enough to be evil.

"Well, then," the Sorting Hat spoke, "the best House for you is _Gryffindor_."

Peter knew that he wasn't brave like a Gryffindor was supposed to be, but he was just so glad and relieved to have actually been Sorted into a House to really care all that much.

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><p>Peter felt completely out-of-place in the Gryffindor common room. It seemed as if everyone else already had at least one buddy. Peter, however, had no one.<p>

Wait a moment. He wasn't the only one who was alone. In one corner of the common one, there was a pale-faced, brown-haired boy. And he looked just as depressed and lonely as Peter felt.

Peter did not usually approach people, but he suddenly found himself approaching this sad-looking boy.

"Hi," Peter said shyly. "I'm Peter, Peter Pettigrew."

The boy looked surprised to actually see someone talking to him. It cheered Peter slightly to know that he wasn't the only loser in the room.

"Remus," the boy finally said. "I'm Remus Lupin."

Peter and Remus quickly became fast friends, even though both were shy and not very talkative. But they didn't need to talk much. Both boys were just glad to have someone who was willing to sit beside them.

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><p>There were two other Gryffindor boys in their year that quickly stood out from all the rest, but for completely different reasons.<p>

James Potter and Sirius Black. Both boys were smart and talented, and they excelled in every class. And both boys were also very confident in themselves, almost to the point of arrogance.

Peter wished that he could be just like them.

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><p>It was hard to impress boys like James Potter and Sirius Black. But somehow Remus managed to do so, by performing a charm better than either of the two boys in Charms class one day.<p>

James and Sirius both had to be the best in everything, so, of course, they had to discover Remus's secret. They couldn't have this mysterious, quiet boy doing better than them in Charms class.

But instead of being mad, as Peter would have expected, both James and Sirius congratulated Remus with genuine voices.

It was not long before James and Sirius considered Remus a friend. And since Peter was Remus's friend, he also became James's and Sirius's friend by extension.

Peter knew that he was just a tag-along, but he was so pleased to be accepted by boys as superior as James and Sirius that he really didn't care all that much.

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><p>"Charms just really isn't your thing, is it, Peter?" James remarked one day.<p>

"Yeah," Sirius added, "you really must have been embarrassed when you accidentally set that feather on fire."

Peter knew that his friends were just teasing him, but it still hurt. Not that Peter would ever complain about it, of course. He was just glad to have people around him that both knew his name and were willing to talk with him.

And as untalented as Peter was in Charms, he was able to help James, Sirius, and Remus create the Marauder's Map.

Peter also showed that he wasn't completely useless in the area of Transfiguration when he was able to successfully turn himself into a rat.

"I knew that you would be able to do it with a little bit of help, Wormtail," Sirius grinned.

"I think you mean _a lot_ of help, Padfoot," James laughed. "But still, you did well, Wormtail."

"Thanks," Peter mumbled.

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><p>Most of the professors, however, rarely praised Peter for anything. In fact, most of them often shook their heads at him in pity.<p>

Some professors, though, didn't even bother with pity. No, they were just annoyed by Peter's lack of talent. No doubt they were wondering why Peter had been accepted into Hogwarts in the first place.

Professor McGonagall was especially harsh towards Peter. True, she was harsh towards all her students (including even towards James and Sirius at times), but the way she often looked at Peter really made him feel insignificant and pathetic. Peter just wanted to run away and go disappear somewhere forever.

Remus's warm, friendly smile, however, would always keep Peter in place and would always make him feel better about himself.

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><p>Peter had never liked fighting. In fact, he had always preferred running and hiding over fighting. But when James, Sirius, and Remus joined the Order of the Phoenix, Peter joined as well by extension. The Marauders, after all, were one. Where one went, the others followed.<p>

Yet, Peter soon developed doubts. It quickly became clear to him that his side was not going to win the war. You-Know-Who was just too strong and too powerful.

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><p>Peter trembled as he walked. He couldn't believe he was actually doing this. He couldn't believe he was actually trying to find You-Know-Who.<p>

But he didn't want to die either. Perhaps if he was able to prove himself useful to You-Know-Who, he would be able to survive this war.

"Hello," Peter suddenly called out in a shaky, nervous voice. "Is anyone out there?"

Peter knew that it was stupid, but he just couldn't stand the silence anymore.

There was suddenly a dark, sinister chuckle, which automatically stopped Peter in his tracks.

"Am I the one you seek, Peter Pettigrew?" a male's voice then asked.

_How does he know my name? What is he planning on doing to me? Did I make a mistake by coming here?_

A figure, hooded and cloaked entirely in black, suddenly appeared in front of Peter.

Peter was too terrified to even run. All he could do was just stand there and look like an idiot.

The figure pushed back its hood (much like a dementor would, Peter couldn't help but think).

Peter immediately recognized who it was that was standing in front of him.

It was You-Know-Who himself.

Peter gulped. He just hoped that death would be quick and painless. He had been a fool to think that he could ever be useful to this great and powerful creature.

You-Know-Who, however, took Peter completely by surprise by speaking to him instead of murdering him on the spot.

"I know your thoughts, Peter Pettigrew," he said, "and I know of all your doubts and fears. And you are right to have those doubts and fears. You are right in realizing that you are fighting for the losing side. And you don't like being on the losing side, do you, Peter Pettigrew? You like being with those who have power, don't you?"

Peter could only nod his head in agreement.

"You are so insignificant and pathetic," You-Know-Who continued. "Your _friends_ are only your friends because they took _pity_ on you. They most definitely aren't your friends because of any talents, skills, or abilities that you have. Because you really don't have much to offer, do you?"

Peter felt like the breath had just been knocked out of him. You-Know-Who was saying out loud the same exact words that Peter had often said to himself silently in his head.

"Regardless of your lack of usefulness, however," You-Know-Who then spoke, "I am still willing to offer you the chance to be on the _winning_ side, on the side with the _real_ power. That is, of course, if you are willing to turn your back on your false friends. So, what will it be, Pettigrew? Your life or your friends?"

Peter didn't want to betray James, Sirius, and Remus; but he didn't want to lose his life either. Besides, the other three Marauders had never really been _true_ friends to him. James and Sirius had often mocked and teased Peter, and Remus (while he had never said a cruel word towards Peter) had never stepped in to defend his supposed friend either.

Not to mention, if Peter refused You-Know-Who's rather generous offer, he seriously doubted that his death would be quick and painless.

So, Peter made the only natural decision. He chose to give himself to the Dark Lord.

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><p>Peter had always been eager to please, and he most definitely wanted to keep the Dark Lord pleased with him. So, Peter offered his new master information on everything that he could think of.<p>

"Slow down, Wormtail," the Dark Lord hissed in a soft yet deadly voice. "I don't want to miss anything important, and I really don't feel like asking you to repeat yourself."

Several of the Death Eaters sitting at the table with them snickered. Bellatrix Lestrange especially seemed to be enjoying Peter's nervousness and fear. She scared Peter beyond what words could ever hope to express.

Out of the corner of his eye, Peter noticed Severus Snape frowning at him. Peter gulped. Snape had no reason to like him. Peter had always supported James and Sirius in their torment of Snape. At the time, Peter had just been glad that it had not been _him_ who had been the victim of James's and Sirius's bullying and humiliation.

Peter would not deny it. Without James and Sirius being there, he was absolutely terrified of Snape.

Lucius Malfoy, meanwhile, was looking completely bored. It was clear to Peter that he was much too insignificant in the aristocratic wizard's eyes for him to even bother with mocking the former Marauder. Peter just wasn't worth Lucius Malfoy's attention in any way.

Peter, though, wanted to prove his significance. He wanted to be helpful and useful, and he actually wanted to be worth something in the Dark Lord's eyes.

Peter just wanted to be worth something to someone, anyone.

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><p>Peter had not really liked the idea of betraying James and Lily, but what other choice did he have? The Dark Lord would have killed Peter if he had failed to mention that he had been chosen to be the Potters' Secret Keeper. The Dark Lord would have killed Peter if he had failed to mention that he had held the key to finding the Potters.<p>

And the Dark Lord had wanted to find the Potters badly. Peter had not known why, but he had known that he wasn't important enough to know the 'why.' Peter was just expected to be a valuable, useful servant, which meant obeying and being as helpful as possible.

Peter did feel some regret when he saw James's and Lily's dead bodies and he did feel some regret when he landed Sirius in Azkaban, but Peter could not help but think it was better them than him.

Besides, a part of Peter could not help but feel pleased that he was alive while James was dead. And a part of him could not help but feel pleased that he was free while Sirius was not.

James and Sirius had been the clever ones, the brilliant ones.

Yet, in the end, it had been the weak, useless, talentless Peter Pettigrew who had outsmarted them all.

For once in his life, Peter had come on top over the superior James Potter and Sirius Black.

And yes, a part of Peter could not help but feel pleased with himself. And a part of him could not help but also feel proud of himself.


End file.
